Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?

A must-read that feels like a heart-to-heart with a therapist friend.

Alright y’all, let me tell you about a book that honestly stopped me in my tracks—in the best way. Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? by Dr. Julie Smith is one of those books that doesn’t just sit pretty on your shelf. It sticks with you, pops up in your head when you’re spiraling, and hands you tools right when you need them most.

I’ve read it twice now. And the second time? Somehow hit even deeper. That’s the kind of book this is—it meets you where you’re at, whether you’re just trying to get through the day, navigating grief, dealing with burnout, or wondering why you’re feeling so off.

Dr. Julie doesn’t write like a traditional therapist. She writes like someone who gets it. Her advice is straight-up practical—simple, approachable, and totally doable. This isn’t a book full of fluff or jargon. It’s full of things you can actually use to feel better.

And listen, if audiobooks are more your style, I highly recommend going that route. I listened to it while driving to work, folding laundry, or doing other life stuff—and the rhythm of her voice is somehow both grounding and comforting. What really pulled me in, though, were those little chimes she uses. Every time you hear that soft bell, she invites you to “open the toolbox”—and inside are bite-sized, real-life tools you can start using immediately.

One of the biggest takeaways for me? Reframing. That concept alone changed the game for me. She explains how the way we look at a problem is often the problem itself—and learning how to shift your perspective can completely change how you experience your life. Another big one? The connection between your mental and physical health. Sleep, food, exercise… it’s all connected, y’all. If one’s off, the others feel it too.

And let me just say—@drjuliesmith on TikTok is just as good as the book. Quick, visual breakdowns of complex mental health topics that are relatable and easy to absorb. Honestly, once I start watching her videos, I end up falling down the most helpful rabbit hole. Between her and Mel Robbins, I’ve definitely spent more time than I care to admit watching 30 or 40 back-to-back one-minute videos—but I always walk away with something valuable.

One of my absolute favorite videos of hers is the one where she uses a full fish tank of water to demonstrate how emotions work. She pours dark ink into the tank, and you can see it instantly start to swirl and cloud the water—just like how negative emotions can feel like they’re taking over your entire headspace. But then… she just lets it be. And as she talks, the ink slowly starts to spread, soften, and dissipate. The water becomes clearer. It’s such a beautiful, simple reminder that when we stop fighting our emotions and allow ourselves to feel them, they lose their intensity. They shift. And eventually, they pass.

Watch the video here:
Full credit to Dr. Julie Smith – follow her on TikTok at @drjulie

@drjulie

👉 Did you notice the change at the end? 👀 It’s easy to miss it at first, because it is so gradual. But that is how change in emotion state tends to happen too. It’s not the flip of a coin. It’s a gradual shifting that takes time. The trouble with that is we become impatient when the feeling is uncomfortable or painful. We want it gone now. So, the temptation is to do whatever numbs it fast. Every time we do that, we lose touch with the natural course that human emotion will take, when we allow it to be present. It increases in It’s intensity, then slowly comes back down. 👉 ‘When it’s difficult to be with your feelings’ is the title of a whole section of my new No.1 Sunday Times Bestseller, Open When. It breaks down into all the emotions we tend to struggle with, and I talk you through how to get through and out the otherside in the best way possible. The link in my bio has links to UK, USA and some international retailers. When I wrote this book I wanted it to be a gift to yourself through hard times, but also to the people you love, when you can’t be there to see them through their own tough moments ❤️

♬ original sound – Dr Julie | Psychologist

If you love this book as much as I did, grab her second one too— Open When: A Companion for Life’s Twists and Turns. It’s like getting personalized pep talks for every hard moment in life. It builds on everything from the first book and gave me even more a-ha moments. Highly recommend.

Grab your copy here:

• Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? by Dr. Julie Smith (Amazon Affiliate Link)
• Open When: A Companion for Life’s Twists and Turns by Dr. Julie Smith (Amazon Affiliate Link)

Happy reading—and more importantly, happy healing.